Hi. My name is Annelise. I have trichotillomania.

 // Sweater: Ross // Dress: Wet Seal // Tights: Betsey Johnson @ Burlington Coat Factory // Boots: Steve Madden

I recently did a guest post for Kristan over at adelynSTONE.
For the first time on a blog other than my own, I opened up about my trichotillomania.
It is a disorder that has affected me for half of my life.
But it does not define me.
In fact, I believe I am stronger because of it.

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When I first came in contact with Kristan, she asked me this basic question,

"What made you start blogging?"

Oh wow... such a simple question. But I did not give her a simple answer. I replied back,

"Honestly, I began because I have trichotillomania. I blog about it here. It's the disorder of pulling out your hair... I pull my eyelashes (which used to be my best feature) and my eyebrows.

After beginning that blog, I added a nail blog, then a 365-day hair project blog, and now I'm blogging for fun on Aunie Sauce as well. It takes a lot of time but I really love it. I just like to put stuff out there and write."

In that small reply back to her, I told her one of my deepest and darkest secrets.

That I have trichotillomania.

Most people don't know what it is.

Surprisingly, Kristan did.

She replied right back and asked me to guest post about it.

It was probably that moment that I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

See, talking about your biggest insecurity, secret and downfall is not something that most people like to do.

It's not a comfortable topic.

But for me, I knew I had to.

It just felt right.

So... about trich (trick).

It's the disorder of pulling out your hair.

Most people pull their scalp hair,

whereas I focus on my eyelashes and eyebrows.

At one point in time about 2 years ago, I didn't have a single eyelash or eyebrow.

You're probably thinking, "Ouch! Doesn't that hurt?"

The answer? NOPE.

Not in the slightest.

In fact, it feels really good.

Pulling releases endorphins, such as serotonin, that make people happy.

So unfortunately, it's horrible because it makes me look ugly, and it feels really, really good.

A few years ago, I was really struggling.

I was depressed. Lonely. So down on life.

And then I began blogging.

I told myself that even if not a single person read my blog,

I needed to put my issues out there for the world to see so I could hold myself accountable.

And now? Now I have readers from all over the world who suffer from trich.

I get emails from Madagascar, China, and the U.S. of A.

So many emails.

People reaching out to say, "Thank you. Thank you for blogging. Thatnk you for putting your struggles and triumphs out there. Thank you for helping me realize I'm not alone."

See, more likely than not, you know someone with trichotillomania.

And they probably don't even realize they have it.

It is a disorder that can overtake—and destroy—your life.

I've seen counselors. Taken medication. Gone to hypnotherapists...
and now I'm currently going to acupuncture.

Slowly, I'm beginning to realize that the only way I can stop the pulling, the urges, and my depression is within myself.

ME.

Recently, I have begun embracing my trich.

I am constantly thinking of new methods to help stop my pulling.

I've also learned that overcoming trich comes with learning a lot about myself.

Trich has taught me 5 very important things.

Bravery, courage, humility, integrity and pride.

Each of those qualities is ESSENTIAL to moving forward in life, and progressing above and beyond this disorder.

If I can do it, the person who you may know can do it, too.

Anyway... I thought I'd share just a bit of what goes on behind the scenes @ Aunie Sauce.

I learn new things every day, and I hope this post gave you a little insight into something new, as well.

If you know anyone who pulls their hair, obsesses about their eyelashes, or who even could use some help, send them my way. I can also be reached anytime at my email here.

I hope I am able to touch at least one person with this story of mine.

Because it's a big one. A true one. And one that needs to be shared.