A Real Look at Trichotillomania

Scarf: c/o Kintage

You guys know why I started blogging in the first place, right? It was to have an open and public place to talk about the disorder—trichotillomania—that has affected me for the past several years. I began my blog LastLash in 2010 so I could tell the world my story, and document it for all to see.

Since then, I've received countless emails from people across the world who also deal with this life-changing disorder. Through every email, it never ceases to amaze me how open people are—how people pour their hearts into their words and tell their story to a complete stranger. I am so thankful for it...

I think it's time for a trichotillomania update. I got an email last week from a woman who's been struggling with trich for 26 years. Twenty-six years. She had finally reached a point of desperation and emailed me—the first person she's ever contacted about her struggles—to see if I could help her or point her in the right direction. It is times like those when I wish I was a professional... but I'm not, I'm just me—a fellow stranger across the internet who also happens to struggle with trich. What a beautiful email I got to share with a woman who I will never probably meet, but feel like I already know because of our disorder we share.

With my trichotillomania, I don't think there was ever a point where I enjoyed destroying my eyelashes and eyebrows. Oh, and talk about a self-esteem killer—I became very depressed at my worst stages of pulling, and I knew I needed to make a change. It was only when I decided to—and made a conscious effort to—that I began to actually see improvement in my pulling. Having trichotillomania is like an addiction and in fact, has been compared with having an addiction to heroin. Heroin. In other words, this isn't something you can just stop. But if you try and pray and seek treatment, it IS something you can gain better control over.

When I talk about my pulling on this blog, I know you can get an idea of what it looks like to have absolutely none or sparse eyelashes and eyebrows. But today, I want to show you. I want to give you a real look at the trichotillomania I've struggled with for over 10 years, and I also want to show you how far I've come. I've said it before—I AM NOT CURED, I STILL HAVE AND STRUGGLE WITH TRICHOTILLOMANIA—but it's not anything like what it used to be.

What a blessing life is. I'm so thankful for how far I've come, and I have so much hope in my heart that I will be able to stop pulling completely someday. If you have trich or something you struggle with and you're ready to make a change—do it. Call your mom, your best friend, a doctor, a counselor—anyone who can help—and take your life back. Now is the time.