Thursday, August 27, 2015
Twenty-nine. It sounds surreal. Every year I'm shocked by how fast the time goes. This year, it's not so much of a "not wanting to get older" feeling as much as it's a "I don't feel like I should be 29 yet."
It's interesting—a few weeks ago, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. While it was so good to catch up with old friends, see faces I hadn't seen in umpteen years, and look back on some of our best memories—what struck me the hardest was how different the paths we've all taken have been. Some of my best friends have already been married for almost 10 years and have multiple children. Most have had at least one or are expecting, and the rest seemed to be single with well-to-do jobs.
For some reason, even though I know I couldn't even add one more thing onto my plate with my job at the hospital, everything I've got going on with the Air National Guard, finding a love for competitive running, volunteering for three different organizations and I-could-keep-going-but-I'll-stop-here-and-just-say "everything-else," I still feel behind... like the world is spinning faster than me... like I'm living this crazy-awesome life, but it's not necessarily what I'm supposed to be doing... like I should be a mom by now. Am I alone?
Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's the birthday cards that are stacking up (thank you all, by the way!), maybe it's just this season. But I just don't feel ready for another year. Not yet. I want to go back and do 27 all over again. Or just stay that age forever... either way.
They say that "no time is the perfect time" and that if you want something, you can't just sit around and wait for everything to be in place to make it happen. You just have to do it. In this case, I'm not necessarily thinking anything big—wish-wise—for my birthday this year. I am just going to go where God's leading me. Because no matter what path I think I should be on, He's going to direct me to the right path.
Now that I've gotten my sappy-reflect-on-the-last-year-and-look-toward-the-future thoughts out of the way, I should note that I have an amazing family and they helped me celebrate the big 2-9 a couple days early. We feasted at Joe's Crab Shack (I ordered my first big crab pot all to myself!), and Daniel and I finished out the night with a cozy movie and a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream (and popcorn—always popcorn—which was layered with caramel, Nesquick, marshmallows, chocolate chips and Captain Crunch... just for the record).
For my actual birthday—today!—I'm heading to Oregon for the Hood to Coast relay to run with my sister and her work team. My sis is also celebrating her birthday next week, so we're turning it into a big race/birthday/celebration/get-out-of-town-and-let-your-hair-down weekend.
You know, life is awesome. Here's to approaching this next year with positivity, spontaneity, and a bright, bubbly attitude. Bring it on, 29!
Past birthday posts: twenty-six │ twenty-seven│ twenty-eight
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