Monday, August 20, 2012

say what you need to say.


While driving to work this morning,
I popped in the mix tape that Daniel made for me last July.
The CD instantly stirred my emotions...
Memories.
Especially the "young love"
that you always feel for that special someone right in the beginning.

It's amazing how one small song, one little lyric,
can bring it all back.
As soon as "Say" by John Mayer started filtering through the speakers,
I knew what I wanted to write about today.

I know I'm not perfect.
I know I don't always set the best example.
I know that I make mistakes.
But I'm in a better place today because of all of that.

I remember hearing "Say" last year, during all that pain and strife,
and knowing that all I could do was to say what I needed to say.
And I did.
I told everyone what I needed to say.
What was on my heart.
What was really going on inside of me.

It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life.
It was the most hurt I'd ever caused anyone...
... and everyone.
But it was the best decision.
And even as my hands were shaking,
my faith was broken,
I did it with a heart wide open.

I guess the reason I'm sharing this today is to say that if you have something,
anything,
that you need to say,
don't hold it back.

Don't tell yourself that you "should" be happy.
BE happy.
And if you need to make a change to get there,
do it.

Making a change,
no matter how big or small
is not something that comes easily.

And maybe what you need to say isn't even something that needs to be said to others.
Maybe you need to say it to yourself.
Say it to God.
Let yourself be forgiven.

Take a moment to reflect.
Take a moment to look inside yourself.
Take a moment to realize what it is...
and say what you need to say.

"Take out of your wasted honor  
Every little past frustration  
Take all your so called problems  
Better put them in quotations
 

Say what you need to say  

Walkin' like a one man army  

Fightin' with the shadows in your head  
Livin' up the same old moment  
Knowin' you’d be better off instead 
If you could only
 

Say what you need to say  

Have no fear for givin' in  

Have no fear for givin' over  
You better know that in the end  
It's better to say too much  
Than to never to say what you need to say again
 

Even if your hands are shakin'  
And your faith is broken  
Even as the eyes are closin'  
Do it with a heart wide open  
A wide heart
 

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

"Say" - John Mayer


Aunie Sauce

28 comments:

Elisha said...

SO GOOD.
This is so incredibly true.. We all need to apply this in our lives! (:

xo.

Jenna@The Life of the Wife said...

Loooove that song & it's message. And YOU for being so awesome & true. xoxo!

Stephanie @ bourbon and glitter said...

Aw so sweet that he made you a cd! I feel the same way about songs, always reminding you of the first time you heard them. I'm not a huge John Mayer fan, but there's a few songs of his I like. This one, definitely.

Hayley said...

You are so sweet. And I admire you for being so open.

Not sure what happened last year (or if you ever posted about it) but it sounds like you did the right thing.

I am so glad you are in a good place and are happy. You deserve it!

God bless!

Hayley
hayleysworld.com

Amanda said...

Thanks for sharing your heart with us today :) You wrote this beautifully. && your pictures are so pretty!
Have a lovely day :) XO

Amanda @ Eloquent English said...

I love it... You are so pretty! Hope you had a great weekend! xoxo

Lily Garay said...

So true!

Anna said...

One year for my birthday, I had Mo make me a playlist on my ipod. I love listening to it...it's crazy how memories can attach to songs like that. :)

Katie said...

Thank you for this post today. I really needed it.

anika♥Lee said...

So true, girl. Love your heartfelt posts. :)
Beautiful pics, as usual!!!! :)

PS. I have to ask, do you have a tripod or an on-call photographer? :)

Shug in Boots {Beth} said...

very true. hard to be true to yourself and just get it out there, but it has to happen, better sooner than later. {not sure what you're referencing ... I'm a recent follower, but I'm glad you seem to be doing well and happy now!}
Gorgeous pictures! :)

Baylee said...

So true. Your post is bringing back a ton of memories! (In a good way). It's just crazy that when you follow your heart (omg, I'm realizing how cheesy this is going to sound LOL) and go with it, things turn out pretty good and you end up a lot happier then if you were just trying to make others happy.
BTW, you look so gorgeous in those pics and the lighting is rad!

Taylor said...

What a good outlook..JUST BE happy! Don't waste time thinking "should...."
Your blog is so cute, I love!
And you look so lovely in these photos!
AnticipAtionblog.blogapot.com

Lindsay @ Trial By Sapphire said...

Life is just a series of choices with which you create the best circumstances for yourself AND do right by others along the way, no matter how difficult those decisions may be. Pursue happiness.

I adore you, Aunie!

Christina @My Life, Laughs, and Love said...

Aunie I always know when I stop by your blog I'm going to feel inspired to do and feel good. There's always a wonderful message / life lesson and I appreciate you sharing :)

Leona said...

Lady, you need to stop saying that you aren't perfect, because you are! Seriously, ask Daniel, he'll totally agree with me!x

Suzzie V said...

All of the songs we played at my wedding pull at my heart strings when I hear them. I love the memories songs can hold!

Jamie said...

LOVE the post! I totally agree. If you do have something to say, say it! DO what YOU need to do to be happy :) Love ya, girl!!

<3 Jamie

Whitney said...

We really need more bloggers like you in the world. Your authenticity shines through and it's truly admirable. I love your blog, Aunie!

Chelsea said...

Just read your guest post. I know I posted the other day how much you inspire me, but it really is true. I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog.

I think you are incredibly brave for not only sharing your past, but being able to walk away from it. How many people stay in unhappy marriages and relationships just because it's easier? You go, girl. I know you don't think it's a proud thing that you did, but as an outsider, I think it was incredibly brave. Incredibly.

And worth it. You only have one life to live. <3

Sapir said...

Wow, this is such an inspiring post. I'm someone who usually keeps things to myself and don't say things that need to be said. I'm currently in the process of learning to stop doing this and this post just came at the perfect time. thank you so much for sharing!
Best,
Sapir
coffeebooksandairplanes.blogspot.com

Kelly { MessyDirtyHair } said...

wow. so i just went back through the links & read your post on miss mommy. that is really intense but yet that is so great you saw something wasnt right & eventually got out. at least you didnt stay just bc you felt bad & didnt want to hurt anyone. youre a very strong girl. if you dont mind me asking when did you start to love this man as a brother & not a bf in your 3 year relationship?

Janna Renee said...

The truth will set you free! I don't like holding back, because you never know the good that could come if you open up!!

Janna Renee said...

And now I just went and read the other posts, and I feel like I know you on such a deeper level! I know that you are hard on yourself about it, but you are definitely in the right place now!! Yes, divorce is "bad", but living in an unhappy/unreal marriage is JUST as bad. We are meant to love and honor our partner. Not feel burdened. I can tell that you have the right man now <3

Freya Lily said...

John Mayer is one of my favorite artists. While I don't always agree with his hair styles, I feel almost all of his lyrics. My boyfriend and I realized that our song is Heartbreak Warfare by J Mayer. While driving through a Connecticut neighborhood back in 2010 I asked him why a song about heart break is out song. He responded that he's singing all these painful things and we can revel in the moment that we're not going to have to go through any of that. <3

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Becca Moss said...

Do you ever go from reading one post and end up reading wayyyy more than you had orgininally planned? Them boxes that say "other posts you may enjoy" are addicting but maybe it's just me. I've been reading your blog for probably 6-9 months now and you've easily became one of my favorite bloggers. I feel like we have a lot in common, and something in me just makes me want to let you know that you, your actions, beliefs and thoughts are appreciated. Whatever you did in your past has made you into the woman and wife you are now. Somehow I got to some of your first posts and looking at more recent posts you can definitely tell that you're genuinely happy.


Reading about your past and how much of a drastic change you've been through with your first marriage, it's touching to know that such genuine people are out there. I'm not condoning or calling the person you WERE inspiring but this person NOW the person you are today is amazing and inspirational. You putting yourself out there on the internet for anyone and everyone to read is courageous and I respect you for how open you are with your life. Whether you believe it or not there are people out there that have truly been helped by what you have to write. You're awesome Aunie. Thank you for putting yourself out there and being so honest and open, you deserve all good things my dear.

Annelise Rowe said...

Becca, thank you SO MUCH for this comment. Right as I was beginning Aunie Sauce, it was when all the changes in my life were happening. It was kind of like my new blogging start (since I had blogged about a lot of the old stuff on my other blogs). I tried to remain very open without hurting anyone and I'm so relieved to find that my honesty is accepted and appreciated. I have changed SO MUCH in the past two years, and I'm so thankful for who I am today. I'm thankful that my past helped shaped me into this person. Thank you so much for seeing it and for telling me that you see it... that means so much. I appreciate you very, very much, Becca. Thank you.

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