Monday, July 16, 2012


It's overcast and a little rainy in Boise today.
Instead of sunshine, it's a little dim.
The weather is matching my mood.

I've been told I'm a critical person.
In fact, I've heard this more than once.

I think it's because I've been through so much, and I always look for the best in any situation.
I also think it's because I've been hurt before... and in some way I'm protecting my heart.

Lately it seems my feelings are so vulnerable.
I seem to feel down for hardly any reason at all.
I get sad often, and cry often, too.

Yesterday, our service was about the topic encouragement.
I thought about this a lot yesterday.

I'm so grateful for each of you. You encourage me daily in your comments and emails.
My parents encourage me.
Daniel encourages me.

But sometimes... it isn't quite enough.
A little change in tone, distracted body language, and actions that don't follow their words say
so much more to me 
than words.

So, if I'm being critical,
maybe it's just because I'm noticing what's actually going on...
what's happening...
what's falling into place.

I guess the whole point of this post is going nowhere.
I think I just needed to take a couple moments to write,
to get it out.
It's Monday... I should be super peppy today... but instead I'm feeling so pensive.

This morning, I had a different post drafted... but I think it was, in fact, "too critical."
So today... I'm going to take a step back from my feelings.
I'm going to smell the roses and let the cards fall as they may.

Are you going through anything lately?
Something frustrating?
Something hard?
My only thoughts are that we all have that "something."
And today, I just vented that something all over this blog.
So... yeah. Today is just "one of those."

And with that...
I'm off to smell those pretty roses...
to take a moment...
to focus on my feelings...
to focus on myself...
to breathe.


Hima said...

We all have those days when we're just a little too easily annoyed. Don't be so hard on your self and stay strong!


Kelly said...

I'm sorry you are having a down day girl. I completely understand those feelings as I've been there MANY MANY days myself. Just said a little prayer to lift you up a little higher today!

Sammantha said...

Girl you have no idea how much I needed this today, thank you.

Casey said...

We do all have those moments and days! Don't be too critical on YOURSELF today for it! I'm guilty of it myself...being too critical under the veil of being "realistic." Will say a little prayer for you today :)

Anonymous said...

Very encouraging, Aunie! Thanks!:)

Crystal said...

I think I'm a very critical person as well. I think for one women tend to me a little more because we notice things more than men do. I used to be super critical of myself (and still am) but it's branched out from there. I catch myself doing it and try to stop. It's hard though. I'm defiantly going through some stuff right now. I think you are right we all have our stuff we are going through at one point or another. Guess that's life. But it's nice to hear that you aren't the only one, sometimes it feels very lonely.

Sureye said...

I am so there with you, Aunie. I get told all the time to stop being so cynical. but i'm trying...
We can try together!
I got your back!


Tori said...

Loving your striped top! :)

Lindsay @ Trial By Sapphire said...

Yup. I've been there for the last 2 months. It took understanding and advice from my dad (who is experiencing the same situation) to give me some perspective. It comforted me, but things are still unsolved.

Keep your chin up. You'll get there!

Morgan said...

I'm having one of those days also. Its nice to know I'm not alone. I am a new follower via bloglovin. I love your blog already!

Queer Christian Collective said...

I think we all have these days where we need to just mope, be vulnerable, and write our feelings out. God uses us at these moments to break us down and speak to us, so keep your ears open. He'll mend the rest ♥ Cheer up buttercup!

Ameera (أميرة) said...

I'm quite critical as well. I'm so grateful for your's so encouraging!
Thanks for the post :)

Jenna said...

We all have those days!It's so easy to get stuck in a rut and focus only on the negative. Don't forget to keep you head up or you might miss all the beauty in life :)

Anonymous said...

Yup. I feel you! We all have those days. Funny how today I'm dealing with the same thing.... Just hang in there.

Baylee said...


Anonymous said...

you are def not alone! im blaming my critcal-ness aka psychobitchfromhell-ness on my upcoming time of the month... but weve all been there!

Kelly { MessyDirtyHair } said...

I think we all go through those days. Days of just feeling blah. You're allowed to feel this way. I love your writing style! Xoxo Kelly

Christi Lynn said...

so cute :)

Stephine said...

You are right, we all have these moments. Sometimes those moments can make us hit rock bottom, but only if we let them. You're a beautiful girl with a beautiful personality, but that doesn't make you perfect. You shouldn't criticize everything in your life, sometimes you just have to let it be.

Unknown said...

beautiful pics x

Priya said...

Hi Aunie! I am definitely hard on myself a lot, and although this sounds silly, I say "I like myself." Out loud. Partially because it sounds ridiculous and makes me laugh, also because it reminds me that I actually DO like myself. Cheer up! We all like you too!

So I had an idea for a little linky post on my blog, and I'd love it if you participated! Just look here: boyfriend outfit post!

and get your love on your blog!